Ah... the dating game. What a not so fun game it is! In playing this game, the question often arises about when to introduce my son to the date. Now I am aware that Steve Harvey suggests allowing the date to meet your child/children off gate. However, I do not live my life according to Steve Harvey's rules. My son is very important to me. I do not allow random people to come in and out of his life nor do I want him to ever grow up reflecting back on the many men that his mother dated while he was growing up. Yes, at some point I will need to observe how the guy interacts with my son but that would not occur during the early phases of building our relationship. And unfortunately, if I fall head over hills for a guy, wait months to introduce him to Jayden and then see that he doesn't do well with him... BYE, BYE! That may sound cold but that's me. My son is not up for negotiation. We are a package deal. If a guy doesn't demonstrate the ability to love him as if he were his own, I cannot move forward in that relationship; my son will never be shorted on my watch. Also guys, please... do NOT suggest that I bring my son on a date. It's so NOT going to happen. Perhaps this sounds strange but I have been asked before, several times. I once told a guy that I couldn't go out with him on a particular night & that he couldn't call me at the last minute wanting to hang out because I have my son. His response was, "bring him with you, we can all go to dinner". Wrong answer. That may sound like a nice gesture to some people but to me, its crossing lines. No one I've dated has ever met my son while we were dating. Please respect my boundaries & understand that my son is the most treasured gift that God has entrusted to my care. It is my responsibility to protect this gift in the best way that I know how. So if you're dating me, you're dating me; not me and my kid (at least not initially). It would be appropriate to ask about him to get to know his likes, dislikes, routine, activities, etc. Showing an interest in learning more about him is fine. If we progress to the point where it is communicated & established that we are in a committed relationship & would like to see what our future holds together, then there will be a discussion about how & when to allow my son (and date's child/children) to become a part of that process. I make no apologies for decisions that I make in regard to the safety and overall well being of my child. If there is a problem with that, keep it movin'!
That's just my 2 cents... for what it's worth...
