FACEbook not FAITHbook

Facebook is a social-networking phenomenon that has garnered over 900 million active users in the past 8 years.  A little late to join the bandwagon back in 2008, it was initially pretty addictive.  Admittedly the addictiveness grew somewhat out of pure nosiness but also from being genuinely excited to connect with people from different parts of my life which perhaps wouldn't otherwise be possible.  While I am not currently as active on Facebook as I was in the past, I remain an active user with random occurrences of deactivating my page.  I may know the 951 people listed as friends on my page (I never accept anyone I don't know), but I recognize that everyone is NOT my friend which is an apparent common misperception by others.  Most pictures of my son are only viewable to some family members and close friends.  Everyone's ideas about Facebook are different as evidenced by status posts and pictures.  I try to use it as a platform to encourage and empower others & to spread positive energy with quotes, scriptures, or humor... mainly humor related to my every day life.  There are people who have been deleted from my friend list for repeatedly inappropriate or offensive posts/status updates.  I do not condone hatred of any kind, extreme profanity, or abuse.  However, I do understand and believe that everyone is entitled to post whatever they so desire & to manage their page as they see fit.  No judgements of character on my part but there are just certain things that I personally prefer not to read.  There are also still some people on my friend list who's posts are sometimes not within my particular tastes.  However, I am praying that my positivity will actually rub off on them.  I have also grown tired of hearing people threaten to delete their page, delete others from their page, or make comments about what people should or should not post.  If you have problems with what someone is posting, delete them.  If you don't want to be on Facebook anymore, delete your page.  An announcement about either is not necessary.  I think Facebook is a great networking tool because connections have been made for employment and other areas of life with people whom I may have never met if not introduced via Facebook.  But what bothers me about Facebook & what I wish people would understand is that a lot of it is FAKEbook.  Facebook allows people to become their own fantasy.  Because people are located in different states and countries and each individual has the ability to monitor who has access to their page, being someone you're not is so easily achieved.  People often times already lie about who they are and what they have; Facebook multiplies that 100 fold.  Please do not live your lives according to Facebook.  If so, you may end up jumping off of a bridge or feeling totally inadequate especially if you compare yourselves to others.  Remember that your own happiness or well being should not be dictated by or effected by someone else's Facebook posts & status.  Facebook is NOT the gospel.  I hear people speak of it as if it is the absolute truth, handwritten by God himself.  People!!!!!  Get a hold on yourselves!!!!  Relationship status should not only be single, its complicated, in a relationship, engaged, married or divorced.  However, it should include all the above options PLUS friends with benefits, dating but not committed, in a relationship but still searching for the next best thing, married but gay & secretly on the DL, unhappily married, engaged because I don't want to be alone, looking for love in all the wrong places... I could go on and on.  For many years, I was in a relationship but my Facebook status said single.  Information on Facebook doesn't always carry much weight.  I am well aware of some very unhappy individuals and/or marriages that exist in reality but in the Facebook world,  the art/facade of appearing picture perfect has been totally mastered.  All these posts about new cars, homes, and other materialistic things give the appearence of happiness when in all actuality, it is quite the opposite.  I have never understood the need to be so dishonest about who you really are.  What ever happened to authenticity, originality, self love and self acceptance?  It's not necessary to reveal every deep thought, dark moment, special occasion, or random highlight of the day.   There are some things that we must save and savor for ourselves.  However, its also not necessary to falsify information or embellish either but I guess some folk have lied or hidden from the truth for so long that they actually believe their own lies... and that my "friends" is truly sad.  If you live on Facebook or by Facebook, then you really have to question the quality of your life.  Know how to weed through the BS, what to take in and what to discard.  Otherwise, Facebook will drain the hell out of you!  At the end of the day, I believe its extremely important to simply be yourself... Not who you think you are, not who you want to be, not who you think others want you to be, and not who you wish you were.  Just be you.  Plain and simple.  E.E. Cummings once said, "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."  Grow up people!  Don't allow Facebook to be your Faithbook, it is not the end all be all.  Don't believe the hype!  Oh... and if you think this blog is about you... GET OVER YOURSELF!!!!  That's just my 2 cents... For what its worth...

Date Who?

Ah... the dating game.  What a not so fun game it is!  In playing this game, the question often arises about when to introduce my son to the date.  Now I am aware that Steve Harvey suggests allowing the date to meet your child/children off gate.  However, I do not live my life according to Steve Harvey's rules.  My son is very important to me.  I do not allow random people to come in and out of his life nor do I want him to ever grow up reflecting back on the many men that his mother dated while he was growing up.  Yes, at some point I will need to observe how the guy interacts with my son but that would not occur during the early phases of building our relationship.  And unfortunately, if I fall head over hills for a guy, wait months to introduce him to Jayden and then see that he doesn't do well with him... BYE, BYE!   That may sound cold but that's me.  My son is not up for negotiation.  We are a package deal.  If a guy doesn't demonstrate the ability to love him as if he were his own, I cannot move forward in that relationship; my son will never be shorted on my watch.  Also guys, please... do NOT suggest that I bring my son on a date.  It's so NOT going to happen.  Perhaps this sounds strange but I have been asked before, several times.  I once told a guy that I couldn't go out with him on a particular night & that he couldn't call me at the last minute wanting to hang out because I have my son.  His response was, "bring him with you, we can all go to dinner".  Wrong answer.  That may sound like a nice gesture to some people but to me, its crossing lines.  No one I've dated has ever met my son while we were dating.  Please respect my boundaries & understand that my son is the most treasured gift that God has entrusted to my care.  It is my responsibility to protect this gift in the best way that I know how.  So if you're dating me, you're dating me; not me and my kid (at least not initially).  It would be appropriate to ask about him to get to know his likes, dislikes, routine, activities, etc.  Showing an interest in learning more about him is fine.  If we progress to the point where it is communicated & established that we are in a committed relationship & would like to see what our future holds together, then there will be a discussion about how & when to allow my son (and date's child/children) to become a part of that process.  I make no apologies for decisions that I make in regard to the safety and overall well being of my child.  If there is a problem with that, keep it movin'! 

That's just my 2 cents... for what it's worth...